Life update

I've been re-training for my job with lifetouch the past two days. It's going really well! The people I used to work for/with seem really excited to have me back, which I am sooo thankful for! I was afraid it was going to be weird, but it's not. The two girls I'm training with are awesome too! I can't wait to get back out there into the churches! (Oh, it'll be nice to have money again too.)
Scott and I finished our last pre-marital workshop class tonight. It was a good experience. I don't think we learned a lot of new things, maybe just further discussed things we've already talked about, or learned about from friends, parents, pastors, etc. We got a little certificate saying that we completed the class, only problem is that according to the certificate Scott's is getting married to someone named Kristina Beardsly, not Christina Beardsley. Ooops! So much for putting that in the scrapbook.
Cindy that taught our pre-marital class also teaches ballroom dancing at our church. I really wish we could take the class, but it's Thursday nights and I have to work. There's quite a few things I have to not do because of work now, which sucks, but it's just a sacrifice I have to make I guess. I'm still trying to work it out so I can at least get off early to go to lifegroup on Tuesday nights. It's only twice a month, but Tuesday are a strange day for us at work. :[ It's nice that I'm off Sundays and Mondays, but Mondays are kind of a weird day to have off. Tuesdays would be better.
School's going well, I guess. The semester's almost done, which is nice!
Wedding plans are coming along, I guess. We have our cake testing appointment Saturday morning. I'm VERY excited about that! I've received a lot of invitation samples, but I'm not really thrilled about any off them. I don't know if I'm being too picky or what. Oh well. We'll decide on some eventually because we need to order them by next week.

Beach, Burritos and Poker

Friday night Scott and I had a bonfire (I still don't know why we call it a bonfire, that's hardly what it is...) at Huntington Beach. Two Friday night bonfires in a row, it's fantastic! It was a lot of fun, we ate hot dogs and roasted marshmallows for s'mores. Huntington has a 10pm curfew on the beach, kinda dumb, so we left and headed to Keno's in Yorba Linda for more food and karaoke. Unfortunately, you have to be 21 to be in the bar part of the restaurant where the karaoke takes place, so we went to the regular part since 3 of our friends aren't 21 yet. I'm still a little bummed that we didn't get to karaoke.

Yesterday Scott and I went to pick out the tuxedos for our wedding, he got measured and it's all set! The guys in our wedding are going to look so awesome! I can't wait to see them! After tuxedo fitting, we met my parents at Red Chile, this little hole in the wall Mexican restaurant in Cerritos with the world's greatest wet chicken burritos, to celebrate my dad's birthday. My dad's been going there since he was 26 and now he's 52! It was soooo good! We came home and Danny and Johnny came over and played poker with my dad, Scott and me. Scott ended up winning, but I still think if I hadn't split some of my chips so Johnny could get in on the game I would have won. I've really needed some fun time with friends and this weekend has been exactly that!

I start my "re-" training tomorrow. I'm kind of excited, but kind of nervous. I don't know why. Well, it's time for church, have a great week!

Finales

I hate the last few weeks of May because it means my favorite shows will go on vacation for the summer or be cancelled forever.
Tuesday night, the last new episode of Gilmore Girls aired. I knew it was going to happen as soon the producers, Amy Sherman-Palladino & Daniel Palladino, left. When David S. Rosenthal took over for this season, you instantly knew it was a different show. I knew it was going to end, but to really see the end of the show made me really sad. It's been my favorite show for 7 years. Now I'm left with The Office & Grey's Anatomy.
[Enter smooth transistion here] The Office tonight, oh my! I knew Jim wasn't going to take the job in NY, and I wanted Karen to get it so she'd be out of the picture and Pam & Jim could finally be together. Ryan came completely out of left field! I can't wait till next season. Jim's going to have a lot going on!
Grey's Anatomy...There's just so many things that happened that I didn't want to see happen, the Burke-Yang wedding, George's test scores, Izzie's speech to George, Alex and Ava/Rebecca, Meridith...ugh. I just don't know if I can handle another season! I hope the summer break goes by quickly. I hate watching reruns!
Good night!

Christina, you're hired!

As you know, I've been having some trouble finding a job lately, even claiming that I'm un-hirable. I've been thinking lately, how much I missed my job with L!fet0uch and how great it would be to get it back, but I've heard a lot of advice saying that you shouldn't go back to a job you left. This morning I met with a friend and learned that she was in the process of returning to her old job and her feelings toward her situation sounded very familiar. As I was driving home from our afternoon out, I was talking to Scott about how great it would be to go back to working for L!fet0uch. So when I got home I check their website. I applied for, essentially, the same job I had before. After I hit submit, I prayed about it and asked God that if this was where he wanted me to make it happen. A few hours after I submitted my application I missed a call on my cell phone. By the time I checked my phone tonight, I saw that I had a missed call and a voicemail. The voicemail was a fellow photographer that I trained with, Rob who's been promoted, saying that they were very excited to get my application and know that I wanted to come back! It seems they're getting busy with summer coming up and having a lot booked! And since I've already been trained on the equipment and sales, all I need to do is shadow someone for a day or two to get back in the swing of things! These are such GREAT words to hear! I called him back and we talked for a little bit about the days I have school for now and the time I'll need off for the wedding and honeymoon. He said he'd talk to my old boss and get the ball rolling and get me scheduled. I'm so excited to be going back! This really is a great job! I can't wait to start photographing again! I'm so happy!!!

Sorry I had to spell L!fet0uch like this, but I got in trouble with a previous company.

Childhood Dreams

Tonight, Scott and I "interviewed" each other with some questions from our pre-marital workbook. It was a lot of fun to just talk and reminisce! A part of the questions about my childhood are sticking in my head.

What were your talents or special abilites? What part of your childhood would you relive? Why?

As a child, I was a really great singer, no maybe I should say performer. I loved singing and dancing and being the center of attention! I would put together little routines and perform the for my entire family at Christmas.

If I could go back, I'd take up my dad on his offer to get me voice lessons. I'd really train and develop my voice. I think if I had, I could have been a really great singer. I've always wanted to be a leading lady in a musical. I'd love to be one of those really fun, sexy characters that can really belt it out! For some reason, I think I'd make a really great Mayzie in Seussical!) I know that'd never happen because I'll never be good enough. Maybe one of these days though, I'll try out for the summer musical at church. I think it'd be a lot of fun to be a part of a show. :]

Reaffirmation

To be honest, I wasn't completely thrilled at the idea of pre-marital class. I was scared that we'd end up learning that we weren't meant to be together, despite how we feel. But so far, it's been great! It 's a reaffirmation to me that Scott really is the man I'm meant to be with. It's a relief!
Tonight during class we took time to pray for each other, together. I pray for Scott all the time on my own, and I'm sure he prays for me, but to actually hear the words from his mouth really meant so much more. It's really made me feel like he knows me and my needs. He really picks up on and knows what my worries are, without having to ask me what I need prayer for. I hope that I can do that for him too.
We also talked about "love languages." It's really interesting because I think if I would have taken the test four years ago, I would have gotten a completely different result. It shows how much I've grown as a person and I'm excited to express love in his language, now that I'm more sure of it.
Tonight was a really great night!

Where life takes you...

I've been thinking a lot lately about the direction my life is going. I'm definitely in a much different position now than I thought I would be five years ago. 5 years ago, I was a junior in high school. I thought I'd go to college (Syracuse) graduate after four years, meet a guy, get a job writing and editing for Rolling Stone, get married, have some kids, blah blah blah.

I wonder how different my life would be if certain events didn't transpire. If my dad didn't get sick, would I have gone to Syracuse, is that what really stopped me, or was I honestly not ready for a big move? I wonder what it's like for my friends that went on to a university, had the typical college experience (dorms, new friends, etc, graduating "on time") I guess sometimes I regret not going because I haven't had that typical college experience and I haven't done the greatest job focusing on school since I graduated high school. Although I wonder if I would have been just a confused about educational goals if I were there instead. Would I have been more motivated? What's holding me back?

Since I didn't go to Syracuse, I got to date Scott, definitely a positive side to not going. But there was a question on this test we had to take for our pre-marital class. "My partner is the only person with whom I could have a happy marriage." And you're supposed to rank it (Strongly disagree, disagree, undecided, agree, strongly agree) We've talked about this question and we both wonder if it is possible. What if Scott and I never got together, would we have met other people and had happy marriages? It's a strange thing to consider.

I wonder if I'm "not living up to my potential." When I do graduate with my BA, will I actually work in the field of art history? Will I actually go on to get my Masters? Will I ever be a curator of a major museum? Will I be happy doing that? I hope so.

It feels good to get this out. I don't normally write my thoughts so freely on here, but tonight's different. I guess I just feel I need to be completely honest and up front. I need to stop hiding from my fears and sabatoging myself.

I think I need to start writing again. I wrote something important today and shared it with Scott. I'd forgotten how vulnerable you can feel sharing something, but even better, how great it feels with the person likes what you wrote. It's not too different than taking a beautiful photograph and people complimenting it. Most photographs, everything lined up perfectly and you just captured it to film (or a digital storage.) I guess with writing, words line up in your mind, forming thoughts and ideas and you just have to get them out on paper (or the computer screen.)